What is a Quaker Wedding like?

From its beginning, the Religious Society of Friends has stressed the conviction that marriage is a binding commitment made in the presence of God and of witnessing friends, with no official pronouncements needed to complete it. Marriage depends on the inner experiences of the couple who marry and not on any external service or words. Before the wedding the Meeting has given careful consideration to the marriage; it gives its approval and loving oversight.

The marriage takes place in a gathering for Worship, held after the manner of Friends. This is without human direction or supervision. Friends gather and sit in silent meditation. During the period of worship the couple rise and make their promises to one another. No third party pronounces them husband and wife. After the vows are said, the couple is seated and a marriage certificate is brought to them to sign.

The Meeting for Worship continues with silence and meditation. Out of the meditation may come a leading to speak. Anyone who feels so led may speak to the group and share their experience. This may be in the form of prose, poetry, or song, and may speak about the joys, challenges, and richness of married life. Generally there is a period of silence and reflection before the next person speaks. The Meeting concludes when a designated Friend shakes hands with his neighbors and the rest of those present follow suit.

All present are invited to sign the Quaker Marriage Certificate - in this way, each person records their presence and indicates their continuing support for the success of the marriage.

The Meeting for Worship lasts about an hour; people with young children may choose to sit where they may leave for awhile if the children become restless. However, many children enjoy the quiet time and are happy to stay through the entire meeting.

Guests at a Meeting for Worship for Marriage usually find it very moving with a sense of warmth, humanity, and love. We hope that you will share this experience with us and join us in this celebration.

Because this is a Meeting for Worship, please refrain from flash photography during the Meeting.